We often overlook an aspect of politics: the reality that one partner in a couple may not have chosen a life in the public eye. For example, holding the position of party president and potentially becoming the president of a country. Often, the husband is dedicated to politics while the wife plays a supportive role, appearing when necessary. So far, Zambia has had six First Ladies.

The very first, first lady was a mother before becoming the president's wife, raising her children, attending state functions, and then returning home. As the mother of the nation, the memory that stays with me is her smile while her husband, the first president, sang a love song to her on his guitar. She tried hard not to show public affection, but all I saw was a woman in love. Oh, how special that was!

Then came the second first lady that had two parts: the real and the almost. The real part two was beloved by all for her simplicity and humility in acknowledging her limited understanding of her role, which endeared her to many. The almost part remained just that—almost. She was the 'face that launched a thousand ships' due to her husband's desperate efforts to make her the first lady, but thanks to a strong constitution, she never became the third part of a divisive third act.

The real third  First Lady loved the spotlight, was dedicated to her foundation for helping the poor, understood her role fully with never a dull moment and was rumoured to be president behind the scenes. She was definitely not there by default.

The fourth First Lady, thrust from a simple, quiet life into the limelight, struggled to find her place. Initially, she seemed unsure whether to follow her predecessor in creating a foundation or to focus on the latest fashion trends. After trying a bit of both, she chose to stay true to herself. She discarded the wigs, proudly wore her cornrows, and raised her twins quietly while her husband fulfilled his destiny. She was content to be with the man she loved, even though their quiet rural life was transformed into one at State House. She went along, because the love of her life was just that, her life. Society admired this quiet, unpretentious woman.

The fifth First Lady had a mix of qualities. She quickly realized it was impossible to outshine her husband, whose tendency to speak his mind made many steer clear of his criticism. However, she did something no other First Lady had done—she performed a caesarean section, which set social media ablaze. It was as if she marked her territory in a playful manner, like 'nya nya nya nya nyaaaaa' - the Zambian version, or perhaps still in her scrubs, surrounded by state security, singing 'can't touch this, ……tundu ndu ndu kchichim tundooo' - the American version. Being a medical doctor, she went back to the hospital corridors she was most familiar with. Her term was short lived but she made one hell of an impact.

The sixth First Lady represents a woman who loses her identity upon marriage. Some may call her a submissive wife, while others might see her as a blind follower. She lacked her own identity other than a lot of ‘appealing’ for one thing or another. Again, a strong constitution saved Zambia from more ‘appealing’ scenarios. However, like her predecessors, she made a significant impact by returning to complete her higher education, and for that, she earned my respect.

Then came the seventh First Lady, who was dedicated to her husband's political life, almost to a fault. Her fashion sense always captured our attention, and with every state functions, she did not disappoin! i remember being glued to my screen watching proud parents marry off their daughter, and sadly, I haven't seen her that happy since. One day she was present, and the next day she wasn't. Despite her rare public engagements, this First Lady is primarily a mother and wife, with her role as First Lady being secondary to supporting her husband. There's something reassuringly peaceful about her demeanour, and because she's not one to make a fuss, her quiet withdrawal is also widely accepted.

Being the wife of a politician cannot be an easy thing, especially for an introvert. Supporting your husband's career behind the scenes to the end, and so far only seven out of thousands have made it to 'plot one'. Was it worth the sacrifice? It’s a question whose answer I hope to find in this cycle of life.