February 05, 2023

The passage of time has made me understand that peace and happiness is simply an illusion. I mean think about it….

Your partner cheats on you, heartbroken.

Your partner doesn’t cheat on you but prioritises their work over you, heartbroken.

Your colleague at work of equal competence is promoted and you’re not, heartbroken.

Your best friend reveals your secret to another outside your circle of confidence, heartbroken.

You assume that you are the problem and therefore decide to go for confession, but you soon learn that the priest has been molesting choir boys, heartbroken.

You move churches and ask the ‘papa’, whom you believe to be more spiritual, to pray for you. Eyes closed, your hands clasped in his, he slowly begins to caress them, heartbroken.

You then decide to disappear into the fictional world of Television and watch Derek die, leaving Meredith the love of his life alone, heartbroken.

So finally, you pull yourself together because you need the job that doesn’t need you, but, wearing my new gum boots, I tackle the rains that haven’t stopped for days.

I jump onto a mini bus to go to one of the shopping malls along the Great East road. Alas, the bus stop is submerged in cholera infested waters, but, for once I am ahead of this misery.

I get off the bus armed with my shiny new boots and as the bus pulls away, a speeding car goes past me, oblivious to my presence, heartbroken.

Drenched in this disgusting water, I wade through the debris of half-eaten maize cobs  and used plastic bags, carelessly discarded, and without warning, the weight of the world on my shoulders causes me to stop in the centre of this flooded car park.

Overcome with emotion, the tears of years of heartbreak and misery roll freely down my cheeks. I am grateful for the pouring rain, that seemingly washes them away.

Suddenly, the tears stop, with the rain pouring down and still fixated to my position in that flooded carpark,

I piss myself.

Finally, a secret act of joy.